So, Kolya, I had a very vivid and highly annoying dream about zombies last night (possibly because I caught the tail end of Shaun of the Dead on Comedy Central the other week...maybe because I was recently reading your journal)  Let me share it with you in excruciating detail!

There were zombies! And Julie the Cow was there, and you too!  I know! How awesome was this dream??

I was in what appeared to be a small town square and I was leading a small group of survivors (including, for some reason, Julie the Cow) who were going to hole up in a dead old lady's house, right on the square.

I get inside the house and immediately start looking for the best place to hide from the legions of the undead who are chasing us.  And the best place I can come up with is...a front-room cupboard about the size of a TV cabinet, with some large drawers inside.  I curl up in one of the drawers, trying to convince Julie the Cow and the others that this is an awesome hiding place.  We end up taking the drawers out and all of us (maybe five or six people and one cow?) cram into the tiny cupboard.

Except I realize the dead old lady (probably since zombified) left all her lights on so I go running out of the cupboard to turn out all the lights in the house so the zombies can't find us. It was broad daylight, so I don't know why I bothered.  In the kitchen, I find the old lady's dog (an Airedale, for some reason) chained up.  I stop and pat it and give it some water.  Then I look out the window...and see the zombies.  They're arriving in army trucks and forming into ranks in the main street.

I yelp and drop flat on the floor to hide from the zombies.  Unfortunately, the house's windows go all the way down to the floor too, so I'm totally exposed to the zombies.  So I play dead.  And the next thing you know, the zombies are crawling all over the house, rounding people up and herding them into the army truck (more like nazis than zombies, really...)  And this when YOU appeared.  You're standing over me in your army uniform, giving orders to the zombies. And they're pawing at me and poking my face, trying to figure out if I'm really dead.  And I'm doing a terrible, flinchy job of playing dead, but it fools the zombies, because zombies are stupid.

So the zombies shuffle off and I jump up and run back to Julie and the others, but they're GONE! The cupboard is bare!  I can hear Kolya ordering the zombies to cut off everybody's hands and then release them and force them to march back to their homes, handless. And everybody's homes were really far away, so it was even more depressing.  Apparently the cow would go without the de-hooving.

I felt terrible for leaving them in such a crappy hiding place, except for Julie, because you seemed happy to have her back.

And then I heard the zombies coming back!  So I ran into the back of the house and found a giant warehouse-style storeroom with a boarded-up back wall with light shining through the cracks. I peeked through and realized it led to a department store. I pulled on some of the boards and they swung open like a door.  I jumped through, pulled them shut after me and realized the boards had a bolt to lock it safely behind me and keep the zombies out.

And then I felt REALLY bad about leaving the other people in a crappy cupboard right next to the front door, where there was a truly excellent hiding place right nearby.

So I started running around the abandoned department store, yanking hands off the mannequins so I could slip them to the prisoners, so the zombies would cut off the mannequin hands instead of the real ones. 

And at that moment, I hear you yelling 'CUT!' And you're sitting in a director's chair with a little beret on your head, and your chair is on a crane being hoisted in the air, and suddenly I realize the entire thing is just a movie set.

Then I'm on the crane with you and we're swooping around and you're explaining that you've run out of money so they're canceling the movie. Bulldozers come in and start demolishing the buildings, which turn out to be fake canvas-and-wood fronts.

And I'm standing there and I'm PISSED, because I wanted to know how the movie ended.

And then I woke up.

Come!  it is time to meet your DOOM!

This is the best story ever written!   It has intrigue, a mystery, suspense and the interlopers in the City of the Ancestors get toppled like ten-pins.  You'll find smashed noses, dangling scientists, drugged out colonels, broken bones, vomiting blenders, plunging jumpers, broken glasses, bad reception, scary machinery, disappearing floors, SHARKS and an awful lot of water. Some toilets might back up too (not sure if I deleted that part or not).  Bad things happen and nearly everyone gets broken, drowned, dislocated, bruised, sliced, dropped or maimed in some hideous way.   You will love it.  Go and review